90 day Glow Up Challenge!

 

Get it? Do you "get" the photo? It's the word UP and it is glowing... Glow-Up. 

I am feeling better. It's been about 23 years or so since I have not felt like hot garbage on death's door. I do not know why I got so sick. I have a maybe hypothesis as to why I am feeling better but it is just a guess. One thing is I had my gallbladder removed, and decades of symptoms have gone away. Yes, I said DECADES. The second thing I have done is, I increased my salt intake. I am not telling you that you should increase your salt intake. I am just sharing with you the fact that I increased it, and now I am feeling better. I only use Redmond's Real Salt. I eat butter on my toast and real cow's milk in my coffee. So far the only food that I have noticed that tries to kill me when I eat it is peanut-butter. Not all peanut butter brands, just some peanut-butter brands.

Back to my glow up.

I have decided that since I no longer feel like hot garbage on death's door, that I would go back to trying to make an effort in my life. Self improvement is hard when you can barely move and you are dealing with many health issues.

I have spent the morning creating my game plan outline. It includes how much weight I wish to have dropped by the end of 90 days. It's a big goal that will remain private. I will be getting out to walk, doing traditional Chinese medicine movement for flexibility, toning, and weight loss. I will be drinking a gallon of water per day, eating healthy, whole food, and tracking my calories. I shall be utilizing the information of how to make a Tiffany plate. 

It can be easy to guess at how many calories are in food and get that number wrong. If you wish to lose weight, you must track snack calories and calories from mindless eating while working or watching t.v..  I have seen people struggle with this concept. They will snack on say... cheese balls all day and then want 3 full meals and other snacks. When I mention they have eaten X number of calories and can now only have this small amount of food they are shocked. One ounce of Utz cheese balls has 150 calories. That is 32 cheese balls. When you wish to truly lose weight, you must measure every calorie you eat from condiments; butter, mayo, mustard, ketchup, salad dressing, etc. to snacks. there is no, "oh these calories do not count because...". Every calorie counts. It will either be used for fuel or stored for fat.  On top of all of the calorie awareness, you have the exercise awareness. it takes quite alot of movement to burn calories. It's a good idea to look at your calories like a budget. You must pay your important bills first; rent, car, insurance, utilities credit cards first and then you can buy other things. It's the same with budgeting calories. Pick low calorie dense nutrition foods. Save your main calories for meals. You can add the little things after you have fulfilled your main nutritional caloric needs. You eat 1 or 2 sweet dates instead of 10-20. That way you have calories for your meat, eggs, dairy and whatever fruits and vegetables you wish to eat. 

Be sure to keep up with electrolites and any supplements you need especially if you are pregnant, or nursing. check with your doctor before starting a weight loss program especially if you are pregnant, nursing or have a health condition that might be negatively affected by a calorie deficit such as hypoglycemia. 

I see too many women letting themselves go, getting a divorce and then doing a post divorce glow up. Why not do your glow up now? While you sit and plan your 90 day challenge, maybe purchase a new make up palette or a lipstick or a hair care product as incentive/motivation? You can do this!

Keep coming back for updates. 

 

Can elegance change your life?

 

Yes, indeed it can. 

I remember when I signed up to become a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant... don't laugh. It was the closest thing I had to finishing school. This was before Mary Kay Ash passed away and the standards lowered. More's the pity. 

At that time, the mid to late 1990's, we were not allowed to wear slacks. We were required to wear dresses or skirts with stockings. Of course because we were beauty consultants, our hair and make up had to be perfect from the moment we left the house. You never knew when you would meet your next customer. 

I worked hard at looking good. My family teased me terribly but I did not care. This was important to me. I remember the day my director told me I had mastered. "the look". I was over joyed. I was a terrible sales woman but I didn't care. The fact that I had accomplished looking polished had me walking on air. 

When you make the effort to look good, smell good, speak well, and treat others with kindness and respect... doors open for you. Women who wear make up to work make more money than those who do not.  

Men, even young men, who wear suits, know how to properly shake hands, look people in the eye when speaking to them, etc. are generally more well regarded than men who do not. 

 You change internally when you change your external world. When you eat sitting down at an elegantly dressed table with food properly prepared and presented. You elevate yourself through everything you do with intention. 

Hercule Poirot embodies elegant living to the point of obsession.  Is it elegant living, or OCD? It is a fine line he frequently crosses, often to the vexation of his friends and colleagues. However, Mr. Poirot has his standards and he refuses to abandon them even for the comfort of those around him. 

This is not the same as the OCD riddled Mr. Monk from the t.v. show MONK who is all about OCD after the death of his with traumatized him.  

Poirot saw order, method and elegant living as a necessity in a disordered, messy, brutal world. Elegant, precise, and intentionally living was a gift he gave to himself and to those around them. Seeing it as a gift was up to them. Monk's OCD was also a shield but it was a shield against more calamity entering his life. It was his talisman against the world lest something else worse than the death of his wife happen. Although what could be worse than the death of his wife? Monk's OCD was his cage. Poirot's elegant living was his joy. His gift, as I said, to himself and to the world. It's almost as if he was saying, "I refuse to be another ugly thing in an already ugly world."

Elegant living is a gift you too can give to yourself and to the world around you. 

Start right now by decluttering, and cleaning your home. Even if you live in a tiny, studio apartment, you can still elevate your life. Then, make dinner. If you do not know how to cook and only order out, stop eating out of the take away food cartons. Even if it is only one set of dishes for yourself, buy a set. Clear off space on a flat surface and serve yourself dinner on those plates. Use real flatware (silverware-fork, knife, spoon) and a cloth napkin. 

When you are finished eating- and you ate without the t.v. or computer entertaining you, clear up all left over food, place it in the refrigerator, and wash up those dishes you just used so that they are ready for your next meal. Did you think elegance was effortless? It is not. 

next, you are going to dress in clothing that fits you. No more saggy pants, over sized shirts, skirts, hoodies, etc. In fact, no more hoodies period unless you are going for a hike in the woods. You know you do not need to dress like a getto Olympian to go for a walk, right? 

This is supposed to be a blog post, not a tome so I will end it here with a few more words of advice. Is it time for you to elevate your look?  To stop with the "office siren look" and dress like a grown professional woman? To elevate your words, how you eat, etc.? 

We all need polishing from time to time and glow ups are not always just about looks; wearing make up doing our hair, getting manicures although all of that is relevant, it is also about how we present ourselves verbally ad intentionally to the world.  

There are many books you can find online in pdf form, at the library, or even to purchase- that can help you on your journey of improvement.  

Do not eat the bread of idleness, go find something to do to elevate yourself, or your environment. Go! 

 

Cigars

 

I love it when I start to research a topic and it end sup having more sub-levels than a secret government facility. 

I just started researching, cigars. Fascinating!

I highly recommend that you go over the the Cigar Aficionado website if you have always wanted to learn more about cigars.  

SPRING CLEANING

 Allow me the privilege of introducing you to my favorite cleaning website, Microfiber Whole Sale. 

 Yes, it is a wholesale website for professional cleaners. I stumbled upon it years ago when I thought about starting a cleaning business.

I have not started the business, yet?, but I still optin to receive their newsletter. In my opinion, it is the best cleaning information I have ever run across. Yes, the best. 

Their latest offering is all about spring cleaning. Some of you have a;ready begun to clean, some of you may have finished your spring cleaning in time to host Easter guests, some have not yet started. I'm confident anyone reading this article will find something useful in inside.  

CLICK HERE TO READ 

Plain Living: A Gentle Return to What Matters

 

There is a quiet kind of life that doesn’t beg to be seen.

It isn’t loud, impressive, or fast-paced. It doesn’t chase every trend or cling to every convenience. Instead, it moves slowly, intentionally—rooted in gratitude, steadiness, and quiet purpose.

This is the heart of plain living.

Plain living is not about deprivation. It is not about rejecting the modern world entirely or striving for some unreachable ideal of perfection. It is about choosing enough. It is about creating a life that feels peaceful instead of pressured, grounded instead of scattered.

It is a return—back to simple rhythms, meaningful work, and a home that nurtures rather than overwhelms.

If your heart has been pulling you in this direction, you are not alone. Many people are feeling the weight of constant noise, consumption, and distraction. The good news is: you don’t have to change everything overnight.

You can begin right where you are.

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10 Gentle Ways to Begin Transitioning to Plain Living

1. Start with your intention

Before changing anything outwardly, get clear inwardly.
Why do you want a plainer life?

Is it peace? Time? Faithfulness? Financial relief?

Write it down. Return to it often. Your “why” will guide every small decision.

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2. Simplify one space at a time

You don’t need to overhaul your entire home.

Start with one drawer, one shelf, one corner.
Keep what is useful, beautiful, or meaningful—and let go of the rest.

A calm space helps create a calm mind.

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3. Cook more from scratch

You don’t have to become a homesteader overnight.

Start small:

• Bake simple bread

• Make soup instead of buying canned

• Prepare basic, nourishing meals

This reconnects you to your home and slows your daily rhythm in a grounding way.

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4. Embrace repetition

Modern life tells us we need endless variety. Plain living gently disagrees.

Wear simple, repeatable outfits.
Cook familiar meals.
Keep a steady routine.

Repetition removes decision fatigue and creates peace.

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5. Reduce unnecessary spending

Plain living naturally reshapes your finances.

Pause before buying. Ask:

• Do I truly need this?

• Do I already have something that works?

Choose fewer, better things—and learn to care for what you own.

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6. Create daily rhythms

A plain life is often a rhythmic life.

Simple anchors might include:

• Morning quiet time or prayer

• Midday work and home care

• Evening wind-down without screens

You don’t need a strict schedule—just a gentle flow.

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7. Limit noise and distraction

Constant input is one of the biggest barriers to a peaceful life.

Consider:

• Reducing social media time

• Turning off background noise

• Spending moments in silence

You may be surprised how much clarity follows.

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8. Learn one practical skill

Plain living grows through capability.

Choose one skill to begin:

• Cooking from scratch

• Sewing or mending

• Gardening

• Food preservation

You don’t need to master everything—just start somewhere.

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9. Let go of comparison

This is essential.

Plain living will look different in every home.
You do not need to match someone else’s version of “simple.”

Your life, your family, your calling—these shape your path.

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10. Move slowly and with grace

This is not a race.

You are not “behind.”
You are not failing if things feel messy or inconsistent.

Transitioning to a plain life is a quiet unfolding. Some days will feel aligned; others will not. Keep going gently.

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A Life That Feels Like Home

Plain living is, at its core, about dignity.

It is found in:

• a meal made with care

• a home tended faithfully

• a quiet moment of rest

• a life not driven by urgency

It may look simple from the outside—but inside, it is rich with meaning.

You don’t need to escape your life to begin.
You simply need to begin noticing, choosing, and simplifying—one small step at a time.

And over time, something beautiful happens:

Your life begins to feel like home again.

The Dignified Kitchen: The Beginning

 

I am embarking on a mostly self-guided cooking challenge. My goal is simple: to elevate my cooking skills. What better way than to learn from one of the most legendary French chefs in America—Julia Child?

Yes, I know it’s been done before. But when something works, you lean into it. And when I say it works, I mean this: who better to guide me in elevated cooking than the woman who helped define it for home cooks in the 1960s? Julia Child set the standard—and why not learn from the standard?

My cooking journey has been a long one. I’ve gone from eating cans of tuna over the kitchen sink, or devouring half a rotisserie chicken alone when I was single, to cooking for my husband and myself, and even once a week for a home group for several years.

I can absolutely put together a quick meal—open a package, unwrap a pork tenderloin, toss it into a casserole dish with potatoes and vegetables, add butter, serve with a green vegetable, and call it dinner. And for many people, that’s a fantastic meal. It’s fast, reliable, and it feeds busy lives well.

But there is little skill required in assembling convenience foods and cooking them until done. I already have a foundation—knife skills, menu planning, shopping, and kitchen organization—but I want to go further.

I want to truly understand cooking: how to time dishes so they come together at once, how to braise, sauté, and brown properly, and how to do it well with variety and confidence.

So I return to, Julia Child.

Her approach to cooking invites curiosity, patience, and joy. She teaches not just recipes, but technique—the kind that builds real skill over time. Along the way, I may bring in a few other voices—perhaps a recipe from the Mayberry cookbook or a vintage Betty Crocker—but for the most part, it will be Julia and me in the kitchen.

We must eat. So why not eat well?

On learning a skill until it becomes part of you... it's not just for artists and athletes

 

    There is a great difference between knowing how to do a thing, and having done it so often that it becomes part of one’s very manner of living. In our time, many are content with the first, and never arrive at the second. We learn enough to manage, enough to get by, enough to avoid inconvenience, and then we turn our attention elsewhere. Yet there is a deeper satisfaction reserved for those who remain with a task long enough that the hands grow sure, the mind grows calm, and the work itself becomes a kind of second nature.

Every true skill begins in awkwardness. The first loaf is uneven, the first stitches uncertain, the first attempts at any craft marked by hesitation and doubt. This is as it should be, for nothing worth keeping is learned in a moment. But if a person continues, returning again and again to the same labor, something quiet begins to change. The motions grow smoother, the eye more discerning, the judgment more trustworthy. What once required effort becomes habit, and what was habit becomes ease.

It is at this point that the work begins to give pleasure. Not the quick pleasure of novelty, but the steady pleasure of competence. One no longer asks at every step what must be done next, but moves forward with confidence, knowing by experience what is required. The mind is freed from confusion, and the hands are free to do their work well.

Such mastery need not belong only to artists or craftsmen by trade. It may be found in the kitchen, in the garden, at the writing desk, in the workshop, or in the daily keeping of a home. Wherever a task is done faithfully, day after day, with the desire to improve rather than merely to finish, there skill takes root.

Our age often praises speed and variety, yet the finest things are usually the result of repetition. The cook who prepares the same dish a hundred times learns more than the one who attempts a hundred dishes once. The seamstress who mends carefully grows more capable than the one who replaces what is worn without thought. The homemaker who keeps her rooms in order each day lives more peacefully than the one who waits for disorder to become unbearable.

To learn a skill until it becomes part of you is not a burden, but a privilege. It means that your days are not wasted in confusion, but shaped by practice, and strengthened by patience. And in the end, the work itself becomes a companion, familiar and steady, asking only that you continue.

French onion soup and French cuisine

There are times when a person becomes aware, all at once, that life may be lived at a higher level than one has been accustomed to living it. Not in riches alone, nor in display, but in care, in skill, and in the quiet determination to do even ordinary things well. Such moments come unexpectedly, and often through the smallest occasions—a book read at the right hour, a meal well prepared, or a story that shows what a life devoted to mastery may become.

I was reminded of this not long ago while watching a film set far from the place in which I live. I dwell in a state that lies far from the sea, in a city that is honest and industrious, yet not much given to elegance. There is no shame in this, for every place has its character, and ours is shaped largely by the love of open air, of mountains, and of work done with the hands. Yet it must also be admitted that where life is filled with motion and activity, the quieter arts are sometimes neglected. One may spend a day hiking, building, driving, or laboring, and never once be asked to consider beauty, refinement, or the pleasure of doing a thing with true skill.

Even in matters of food, this difference may be seen. There are places here where one may dine well, and I am grateful for them. Yet when the talk turns to what is called fine cuisine, the choices grow fewer, and the imagination seems to narrow. A restaurant that names itself French will almost always offer the same familiar dishes, prepared in the same familiar way, as though the whole of a great tradition could be contained in a few recipes learned long ago and seldom improved. One finds the onion soup with its heavy crust of bread and cheese, the mussels, the pastries, the rich sauces, the dishes that have become symbols rather than living parts of a craft. Some are made well, and some indifferently, yet all give the feeling that only the surface has been touched, while the depth remains unseen.

It was while thinking on these things that I watched again a film I have long admired, the story of a woman who gave her life to the art of cooking, and who pursued that art with such steadiness that it opened doors she had never sought. She was not loud, nor boastful, nor in any way unkind. She simply knew her craft, and honored it. Because she honored it, others came to honor her. She cooked for farmers, for students, for statesmen, and at last for the President himself, not because she demanded it, but because she had made herself worthy of the work.

What struck me most was not the fame she achieved, but the manner in which she lived. She loved good ingredients, and treated them with respect. She cared about the old recipes, and learned them thoroughly before she allowed herself to change them. She believed that a meal, rightly prepared, was not a small thing, but an act of generosity and of order. Even when her life carried her to the most unlikely places, she remained what she had always been—a woman who knew her skill, and practiced it faithfully.

Such examples have a way of stirring the conscience. One begins to wonder how often we excuse ourselves from excellence, not because it is beyond us, but because we have grown accustomed to less. In this country especially, we are rich in many things, yet we do not always know how fine life can be when care is taken. We hurry, we simplify, we make do, and in doing so we sometimes forget that the ordinary duties of the day may be performed with grace, if only we are willing to learn.

I do not say this as one who has already arrived. I am, by my own reckoning, a competent cook at best, able to prepare meals that satisfy my household, and for this I am thankful. My husband, God bless him, is patient and easily pleased, and that alone is a gift not to be overlooked. Yet I find within myself a growing desire to do better—not for praise, nor for display, but for the quiet satisfaction that comes from knowing that a thing has been done as well as I am able to do it.

There is a beauty in giving oneself to a craft, whether it be cooking, sewing, gardening, writing, or the keeping of a home, and staying with it long enough that the hands learn what the mind once struggled to understand. Skill does not come all at once, nor does refinement appear by wishing for it. It is built slowly, by repetition, by patience, and by the refusal to be content with carelessness.

Perhaps this is what our age forgets most easily—that excellence is not reserved for the famous, nor for the wealthy, nor for those who live in great cities. It may be found wherever a person chooses to do his work with attention, and to keep doing it until it becomes something worthy of respect.

And so I have resolved, in my own small way, to take my place again at the stove with a little more seriousness than before. To learn the old recipes properly. To try the unfamiliar ones without fear. To treat even a simple meal as something that deserves thought and care.

For a dignified life is not made of grand occasions alone.
It is made of daily acts, done well, until they become part of who we are.

A bit about me...

 

I came of age in the latter years of the twentieth century, in the decades of the 1970s and the 1980s, when the spirit of the feminist age had so entered into the customs of the people that it was no longer remarked upon, but was received as the natural order of things. Its words were spoken in the schools, and its counsels were heard in the entertainments of the day, and its judgments were repeated often, so that many received them without question. And I myself perceived it not at the time, but only afterward, when the years had passed, that my understanding of a woman’s life had been shaped by these teachings, even as clay is formed upon the wheel, until it seemed that no other form had ever been intended.

And it came to pass in those years that the stories set before us, whether in the moving pictures or upon the television, instructed us continually, though no lesson was named. For the daughters of the land were told to prepare themselves for independence, and to seek learning, and to establish themselves in professions, and this was counted wisdom. But of the keeping of a house, and of the ordering of a family, and of the faithful care of husband and children, these things were seldom spoken of as a calling to be desired.

In those days there were programs much loved by the people, wherein households were shown, yet the manner of those households was changed from what had been in former times. In one, a mother pursued her studies that she might enter a profession, while the labors of the home were given into the hands of a hired servant. In another, the care of the family was entrusted to one who had been brought in from without, and who received wages for the work that once had belonged to the wife and mother of the house. And this pattern was seen again and again, so that it appeared a small thing for a stranger to keep the hearth, but a strange thing for the mistress of the house to do so for her own.

Thus was the message set forth, though it was not spoken plainly: that the tending of a home was worthy when it was a trade, yet of little account when it was a devotion; that it was good to labor for the household of another, but of less honor to labor for one’s own; and that the better life was to be found not within the walls of the home, but always beyond them.

Yet there had been a time, not so long before, when another picture had been shown. In the stories of earlier years, the family was set forth as a thing to be cherished and preserved. The generations dwelt nearer one to another, and the burdens of life were carried together. The father was not despised, nor the mother made a figure of weariness and complaint, nor the children lifted up above their elders; but each had his place, and the peace of the household depended upon the faithfulness of all.

But as the years went on, these images were changed. The father was made foolish, and the mother troubled on every side, and the children spoke as though they were wiser than those who had brought them forth. And the house itself, which had once been shown as a refuge, was shown rather as a place of confusion, where none seemed fully at rest. And the people laughed, for it was meant to be laughter; yet the lesson entered in all the same.

These things work slowly upon the mind. For when a generation is told often enough that one path is higher and another lower, many will walk the higher path as it has been named, even if their hearts were inclined elsewhere. So it was that many women were brought to believe that a life given to home and family was a lesser life, fit perhaps for those who could do no other, but not to be chosen with gladness.

Therefore it is the purpose of this writing to say what is no longer often said, and to say it without shame.

It is no small thing to keep a house well.
It is no small thing to be a wife.
It is no small thing to bear and to raise children, and to order the days of a household with care and with diligence.

For there are some women to whom this life is not a burden, but a calling; not a failure of ambition, but the fulfilling of it.

Even now there are daughters who look upon the noise and haste of the present age and feel no desire for it, though they are told they should. They would rather build a home than a career, and keep a table than an office, and give their strength to the life of their own family rather than to the service of strangers. They would learn the arts that make a household flourish, and would count it no disgrace to do so.

Let them not be told that such a desire is foolish.
Let them not be told that such a life is wasted.
Let them not be told that honor is found only in the places the world praises.

For many generations were sustained by women who lived in this very manner, and their work was not forgotten by those who depended upon it.

My purpose here is to restore, in some small measure, the good name of the homemaker; to speak well of marriage, and of family life, and of the quiet labors by which a household stands; to give due place to the teaching of girls in the skills that were once thought necessary to every well-ordered home; and to set forth the beauty of a life that is simple, faithful, and steadfast.

This place is for those women who feel themselves called to such a life, whether they stand at the beginning of it, or have come to it after many years, or only now begin to see its worth.

Not all will desire this path, nor is it required that all should.

But for those who do, let it be spoken of with respect, and not with scorn; with seriousness, and not with mockery; and, when it is well lived, with gratitude, and even with pride.

Elevating Your Voice: How to Speak with Refinement in a World Full of Crude Humor

 

photo by Alex Caza

 Among the many gifts given to mankind, speech is one of the most powerful; for by it we make known not only our thoughts, but our character. The words a person chooses declare, often more plainly than he intends, the manner of spirit that dwells within him. And in every age the speech of the people reflects the temper of the times, whether for good or for ill.

In these present days, it has become common to hear language spoken lightly which in former years would have been set aside as coarse or unseemly. Words once kept for moments of anger or distress are now used in ordinary conversation, and vulgar expressions are offered in jest where once wit and courtesy would have been thought the better part. Because of this, many feel within themselves a quiet discomfort, though they cannot always say why. They would speak freely, yet they would also keep their dignity, and they find the two not easily joined in the manner now expected.

If you have ever found yourself shrinking from words you once used without thought, or holding your tongue because you expect the speech of others to turn crude, know that you are not alone in this. The habit of careful speech is not lost, though it is less taught than it once was. And like any good habit, it may be learned again by those who desire it.

The first step is to take notice of one’s own words. For many speak carelessly, not from ill intent, but from long custom. There are certain expressions that weaken a person’s presence without his knowing it: oaths spoken for emphasis, coarse jests made for easy laughter, and the idle phrases that fill silence when a moment of thought would serve better. It is a wise practice to mark such habits quietly, and to resolve, little by little, to set them aside. For mastery begins with awareness.

When a word has been put away, another must take its place. Refined speech does not require stiffness, nor does it demand grand or complicated language. It asks only that a person choose words with care, and speak them with intention. A mild exclamation may stand where once an oath was spoken; a thoughtful remark may serve where once a crude joke would have been made; and often the best word is no word at all. Those who hear such speech recognize in it a certain steadiness, and they give it respect without being told to do so.

Yet a person cannot govern the speech of others, and in every company there will be those who speak without restraint. In such moments, the most graceful course is not rebuke, but composure. A quiet nod, a change of subject, or even a thoughtful silence will often say more than correction spoken aloud. By such restraint a person shows that his standards are not shaken by the noise around him, and this in itself sets a boundary that needs no explanation.

It should not be thought that refinement forbids humor, for laughter has its proper place in every well-ordered life. But there is a difference between wit and vulgarity, though the world sometimes forgets it. True wit delights the mind without lowering it. A clever story, a well-chosen comparison, or a remark made with gentle irony will be remembered long after a coarse jest has been forgotten. The one leaves behind a sense of pleasure; the other, too often, a feeling that something has been made smaller than it ought to be.

The habit of good speech is not formed in a day. It is cultivated as a garden is cultivated, by steady care and by patience. Let a person begin with one small change, and keep to it until it becomes natural. Let him read the words of those who write with clarity and dignity, for the ear learns by hearing as the hand learns by doing. And let him take quiet satisfaction in his progress, for each improvement strengthens the next.

In time, the reward of this discipline becomes plain. 

Speech that is measured gives the impression of confidence, for it shows that a person is master of himself. Speech that is precise carries authority, for others listen more closely to one who does not speak at random. And speech that is courteous lends a kind of elegance to the whole manner, so that even simple words seem to have weight.

This is not pretension, as some suppose. It is the outward sign of inward order. When a person chooses his words with care, he shows respect not only for those who hear him, but for himself.

Therefore let every word be spoken as though it mattered, for indeed it does. Speech has the power to wound or to heal, to diminish or to elevate, to bring disorder or to set things right. He who governs his tongue governs much besides.

And it is no small freedom to move through the world with language that is clean, deliberate, and well kept. For such speech draws respect without asking for it, and makes room for conversation that leaves all who take part in it a little the better for having spoken.